This is new. Trying to enter a forum that’s something other than an amateur blog on tumblr. Feel a little stupid, but how do you even start up something like this? Something someone other than myself can relate to. I suppose you just type until you come across something someone can read and say, “wow, I feel this on some type of level.” I mean I’d like to say I left a mark somewhere along the way. That I touched someone’s life in a positive way, to make them understand that regardless of the negative crap that goes on in their mind, it’s only temporary, And that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Growing up gay in a typical Hispanic household, you were taught to suppress feelings and emotions. That being gay wasn’t an option, delivered with the homophobic comments made. I understand my parents grew up in a different era, but as a child it caused self hate. The feeling that only suicide could be a way out. Because I never thought I could make it to being 25 and an out, and proud, male. Going from a teenager who suffered from depression and anxiety, to now an adult who’s biggest worry is finances, college, and my own twisted chain of screwed up relationships. Did I really think that all my issues would just dissolve? I suppose that would have been an ideal situation, but if there is some parallel universe that I can teleport to, please oh please, let me know. Until then I’ll continue to date the wrong boys that disguise themselves by introducing themselves with the noun, “men.” Cheers to them for following through with something other than leaving when the honeymoon phase is over. Typical gay coulter?
But it’s 2019, and I promised myself no more allowing my daddy issues to control my dating patterns. After one guy you’re allowed to pull the, “he was my first card.” After the fourth, dating the guy that that’s stuck in a Peter Pan stage is getting old. “You attract your equal.” Is that so? cause I’m 25 still getting my career and mental health together, and all I seam to attract are guys in their mid 30’s that think being told to grow up is a form of deathly disease. Is the gay community that obsessed with living the 20 year old dream till the end of time? If so, how do we alter it? Cause at this point I think we’re just gonna infect ourselves with a life long of heartbreak and a large amount of liquor. Doesn’t sounds so bad till you’re curled up in bed with an empty bottle of wine laying on the nightstand next to you from the night before, and a throbbing headache.
Jr_lpzx 